Wednesday, December 26, 2012


After a year of lessons, trials, and tribulations I can see God in all aspects of my life. My blessings are abundant however I have questioned my relationship with those around me. I have realized that I have been lying to myself for so long that I have begun to believe my lies. My heart hurts because I have sold myself short and lost time that I cannot get back because I was too scared to be honest with myself.  Well that ends today! 

God has to be the center of your life and the other things will fall into place, And I have been playing church. Though I have a relationship with God, that relationship could be and needs to be stronger and more substantial. I was raised in the church and can say without hesitation that I have lost my way. But the change has to begin with me. 

So when all is said and done, change has to start today, has to continue tomorrow, and progress through the rest of time. This will create the perfect set of circumstance where I can be a better version of me. 

.....A Brand New Kind of Me


Every year we all say that we are going to get healthier, lose weight, join a gym, and on and on. And I am no different. In 2011 I lost 35 pounds and have since gained 15 of that back. So I am again saying that I am going to change my life, I have had some set backs but have decided to make this about me and make the needed changes to make it to my goal. 

To lose 40 pounds between now and March 31.

I have rejoined a gym. I am active in BGR Warner Robins (Black Girls Run, for those of you who don't know). I have taking the Clean Living Challenge through BGR-WR. I am also taking part in the Run Your A$$ Off Weight Loss Challenge. If you want to take part and bet on your chances to win. Click the link! Run Your A$$ Off! 
Not hoping for anything. Just willing to work hard and change my life and my outlook. Seriously looking forward to 2013 and a new start in a lot of areas.... 

2013 MOTTO!!!
"God's Got Me, so I am going to do Me! 

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


Today I woke up with alot on my mind. This close to Christmas and the New Year I always get very introspective.

This time last year I was moving into a new apartment. Had been on a new job for about two months. And had met a great guy. Now a year later I still really havent gotten unpacked in my apartment, the job is good however I am also looking for an outlet for what I have been called to do... which is help people. And the great guy and I, no long speak. And that hurts but thats life right?

So in the wake of the craziness of this world. The loss of the people in Sandy Hook, CT, the superstorm on the East Coast, the blantant disrespect for President Obama, the senseless death of Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis, the current 11 year war, the overt racism that still remains in this country and the apparent disregard for life...but with all that... God is still in charge.

Me and God are the only constants in all this strife. Without my faith in Him, I do not believe that I would still be here. I am well aware that I am blessed beyond measure. I have things that most are struggling to either get, achieve, or maintain. He has blessed me and because of that I will spend 2013 blessings others and walking the path that God has laid out for me. In retrospect I have become apart of the world and this has stifled my spirit. The Lord said, "You can be IN the world but not OF the world" (paraphrased John 15:17-19). I have allowed my Church family to become relative strangers and I miss that connection. I have allowed my interests to become those of others and that is not benefiting my growth at all. Because of this I am sometimes overcome by a sense of loss and lostness (yeah I made up a word, what?)

I am looking foward to 2013 and pray the Lord allows me to see it, make the necessary changes in my life, find and hold on to the happiness that is in store for me. I pray for the strength to step outside of my comfort zone and take some real chances. Connect with my family and friends. I look forward to making 2013 my year of Renewal.

NANA WISDOM: Creating and Maintaining a relationship with God allows all your other relationship to blossom.


Sausage/Cheese Bread Roll

Sausage/Cheese Bread Roll Ingredients:
1 -- 1# loaf frozen bread dough, thawed
1 -- 1# breakfast sausage (Jimmy Dean Sage is our favorite)
8 to 10 oz. shredded cheese (we typically use cheddar, but anything is good)
2 eggs (raw, used as a binder for other ingredients)

Roll dough into approx. 12" x 15" rectangle. Cook sausage. Mix cooked sausage, shredded cheese and eggs. Spread mixture on bread dough. Roll dough with mixture inside like a jelly roll and drop into a greased (Pam spray works also) bundt pan. Let rise in warm area until puffy (about 1 hour).

Egg setup is with platesetter (feet down) at about 375 dome temp. Place bundt pan on platesetter and cook until top is golden brown (usually about 35 to 45 minutes). Invert bundt pan onto cutting surface and then brush butter on all sides of bread roll. Slice and enjoy.

We quite often do the prep and assembly the night before and leave in the bundt pan in the fridge, covered with a wet towel to keep dough from drying.  The next morning take the bundt pan out of the fridge before starting the Egg.  By the time the Egg is ready and stabilized the dough has warmed up and risen some.


Sunday, November 11, 2012


I have a new focus for the next four year!

In 2008, I voted for a man because his views aligned with mine. He had a view of government that meant compromise in the best interest of the people. He wanted a country that would allow you the freedom to believe what you wanted and still be allowed to survive.

The United States has always been seen as a country that promotes “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness” however it has never offered those things to people without a cost. First let me say that I love this country and am proud to be an American. At the same time We as Americans are arrogant and self-absorbed. 

In 2008, I voted for a man who wanted to promote the greatness of the American people while showing the kindness and strength of the American people.

On Election Night 2008, I sat on the edge of my couch like the rest of the world. Yes the world was watching to see the outcome of this election. John McCain conceded and Barack H. Obama was elected the 44th President of the United States of America!! At this moment in time, countries around the world celebrated, along with the African-American population of these United States. Why? Because Mr. Obama was also the first African-American man to ever hold the office of President.  This was evidence of how far this country had come; from Slavery to Presidency….right?  I’m sure that is what most thought.

I, on the other hand, was one of those who was skeptical and my skepticism was valid. After four years of utter disrespect, flagrant hate, racial slurs, and racially motivated commentary, President Obama stood his ground and ran for another term.

On November 06, 2012, the country came out again to vote and President Barack H. Obama was elected for another four years.
What saddened me about this campaign was the number of people who felt it was their duty to tell me how much my vote did not count. REALLY?  And when I expressed my reasons for voting they would look at me like I was crazy.  

So here are my reasons:
(1) As an American Citizen, I am going to let my voice be heard. 
(2) The laws of this land affect me.
(3) Someone fought and died for me to have the ability to vote.
(4) The Amendment that allows me to vote comes up for review and resigning in 2015. 
(5) Because this election focused a lot on women’s rights.

What angered me was those who have never had struggle or understand what it is to live without, but they are first to condemn someone else for needing help. This campaign showed that people would  sacrifice their souls to promote the ideal of hate.  Because of that hate…I am motivated!

I am female, and I believes that my reproductive organs are mine to make decisions about. I am a minority so I believe that “entitlement” programs like Affirmative Action are necessary. I am Pro-Choice because I will never walk in another’s shoes. I am a Christian so I believe there should be some division and distinction between Church and State. I am Social Worker, so I believe in the need for the Welfare System, with some careful reform. I am a constant student so I believe that education should be affordable and measurable. I work in the Juvenile Justice System, so I believe in a need for a true rehabilitation system.  I work with families in crisis, so I believe in a need for a true Counseling and Substance Abuse model that actual works.  This is what I am focused on!

My mom has always told me that I have the power to impact those around me. She molded my personality to be one who stands out.

So my focuses for the next four years:
(1) Women’s Rights
(2) Counseling Program for Youth in my community 
(3) Get my Substance Abuse Counseling Certification. 
(4) Active in Black Girls Run! and Black Girls Rock!
(5) Create the “Clothes Closet”
(6) Create Christmas All Year Long (Non-Profit)



Sometimes time gets away from you and all your good intentions. 
You just never seem to actually get them completed. 
I love writing and love writing this blog. But life interceded and I haven't been able to write for the last month. 
But BABY, I'M BACK!!! 

Monday, October 8, 2012

No Pain, No Gain

We are not meant to be alone. I don’t care what people say! We all need someone. We struggle with relationships because we are dealing with people. We all have our baggage and that presents in different ways.

There are those who do not trust easily based on the previous experiences. We all are the product of our experiences and all of our experiences are different. So why is there this belief that people should act a certain way and why is there such a thing as normal.

We all search for validation and when we do not get it we are hurt and feel lost. But No Pain, No Gain…right? We have to go through lose to understand when we find happiness. We have to kiss a few toads to fully appreciate prince charming. 

They say that life is what we make it but that doesn’t mean we have to settle for just anything or anyone. I can say that I have loved and lost. What I have realized is that when I love someone they don’t love me. But when I am gone they seem to realize that I was a woman worth their time…but it’s too late. Our time has passed. But the one truism in life is that something that is meant to be….will be.

I am giving it to God and praying that the man he has for me is ready and waiting on me like I am waiting on him. And that are paths are about to cross soon. God knows my heart and He knows my desires. So from here on out…it in his hands…

I Got A New Attitude By Miss More Roses

Billions of Dollars are spent each year in the Beauty Industry by Women Of Color. Hair products, nail products, weave, color, salon every two weeks, every week. Religiously. Some women go to the Salon more often than they go to church or to the gym. UT OH...Miss More Roses is in trouble now. LOL.

The focus is on External Beauty while the inner woman is torn up from the floor up.

Your ATTITUDE is what needs a PERM, not your hair ! A PERMANENT change ! It needs to be straightened from the ROOT. We spend all of this time and money on clothes and shoes and stuff and ugliness comes out every time we open our mouth. Shoe game tight, but your steps are not ordered. You leave out of your house everyday looking good on the outside, while bitterness and frustration fester on the inside. Ready to pounce on anybody that looks at you wrong, talks to you wrong. Ugly. When things don' go your can’t slip into the comfort of Flexibility. Rigid and if somebody squeezed you into a girdle that is five sizes two LOOK the part, but you FEEL miserable.

Be beautiful. Spritz on some JOY in the morning. Slide your feet into the gospel of PEACE and walk in your blessings. Negativity BLOCKS Blessings !! You will NOT get to your destiny because your hair and your nails look good ! You will get there because you treat people right. The person that God SENT to bless cussed them out and cut them off. Ugly.

As you go through this day, look in the mirror and ask yourself, is my Spirit on right ? Is my heart straight....towards others and do people look at me...and say "Where did she get that Joy..." I MUST have it !......Work on your Wardrobe. Love never goes out of style.

Miss More Roses

Check out the Facebook page for this awesome group: Black Women Who Want More
 en than they go to church or to the gym. UT OH...Miss More Roses is in trouble now. LOL.

The focus is on External Beauty while the inner woman is tore up from the floor up.

Your ATTITUDE is what needs a PERM, not your hair ! A PERMANENT change ! It needs to be straightened from the ROOT. We spend all of this time and money on clothes and shoes and stuff and ugliness comes out every time we open our mouth. Shoe game tight, but your steps are not ordered. You leave out of your house everyday looking good on the outside, while bitterness and frustration fester on the inside. Ready to pounce on anybody that looks at you wrong, talks to you wrong. Ugly. When things don' go your cant slip into the comfort of Flexibility. Rigid and if somebody squeezed you into a girdle that is five sizes two LOOK the part, but you FEEL miserable.

Be beautiful. Spritz on some JOY in the morning. Slide your feet into the gospel of PEACE and walk in your blessings. Negativity BLOCKS Blessings !! You will NOT get to your destiny because your hair and your nails look good ! You will get there because you treat people right. The person that God SENT to bless cussed them out and cut them off. Ugly.

As you go through this day, look in the mirror and ask yourself, is my Spirit on right ? Is my heart straight....towards others and do people look at me...and say "Where did she get that Joy..." I MUST have it !......Work on your Wardrobe. Love never goes out of style.

Miss More Roses

YUM!!! Weight Watcher: Chocolate Delight

Total time: 35 min PT2100.0S    Prep time: 15 min

Serves 18
1 cup flour
12 cup margarine (light)
1 cup chopped pecans
8 ozs fat free cream cheese
1 cup powdered sugar

16 ozs cool whip (free)
312 ozs sugar (free instant chocolate pudding mix)
312 ozs sugar (free instant vanilla pudding mix)
3 cups 1% low-fat milk

1Mix flour, margarine and 1/2 cup chopped pecans until crumbly. Pat firmly into 9x13 baking dish. Bake 20 minutes at 350 degrees. Cool completely. Soften cream cheese, mix with 1 cup powdered sugar and 8 ounces cool whip free. Spread over crust. Mix chocolate pudding, vanilla pudding and milk. Spread over cream cheese mixture. Spread remaining cool whip over pudding and sprinkle with remaining pecans. Refrigerate at least 4 hours or overnight.

Nutritional Content
Amount Per Serving
Calories 267Calories from Fat 120
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 13 g20%
Saturated Fat g23%
Trans Fat 933 mg0%
Cholesterol mg1%
Sodium 166 mg7%
Total Carbohydrate 33 g11%
Dietary Fiber 814 mg3%
Sugars 27 g
Protein g
Vitamin A2%
Vitamin C mg0%
Calcium 119 mg12%
Iron mg3%
Potassium 155 mg1%
* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your Daily Values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Switched Off

I love that he loves me
I love the way that he loves me
I love the feel of his lips
I love his hands on my hips
But when I said it out loud
He said it’s not true
He said that he likes me
But he’ll never say “I love you”
So from here on out,
Note to self,
Look at the cards that you are dealt.
If you give all of yourself to someone who doesn’t care
You end up alone and you learn that life is not fair
So love is a fabrication, something that makes no sense
How can I love so hard and always be on the wrong side of the fence
Days come and go and you understand what’s real,
No need to love, and there’s no need to feel.
So I am placing my heart on “off”!

-DMB Original

Friday, October 5, 2012

If We All Work Together

I love conscience people. No I am not talking about those who are walking around and breathing. I am talking about those who are conscience and willing to do something to make the world a better place. You can be awake but not aware. You can be alive but not living. You can exist but not benefit from life.
I have worked in the Social Work field for thirteen years. If you ask me what my professional goals are my answer would be to be an effective social worker. I believe in people’s ability to change if they have the want and are offered the right tools. Last year I was faced with a decision and though it was one I do not regret, I miss social work. I was burnt out with a system that if utilized properly could help the families it is meant to help but I was working within a system that was headed by people who had no use for people who did not meet their standards. Yes this is the reality within many of the helping professions.
Everyone is called to do something in this world. We all have our place in this world. My love is helping people. Today I was party to a conversation that reminded me that there are still great people in the world. I now work with the Juvenile Court which governs the Department of Juvenile Justice and the Department of Family & Children Services. You see children and parents are the worst points in their lives and you want to help. There are some you can help and there are others that cannot be helped but that is after making the effort.
One of the guys at DJJ is willing to take his own time and create a Scared Straight program for the boys and girls in the community. The new culture of preteens and teenager seem to believe that they have the right to disrespect their parents, disrespect others and do as they want; and with no consequences. In the end they wind up in system and in front of a judge. This is what this young man is trying to stop. He is not asking for money, he is just asking for help; for the tools needed to get through to a generation that is lost and is evading those who want to help them due to lack of trust and devalue of life.
So what do you do? Is there a solution? Yes there is BUT it has to a collective effort. This world has to care about someone and something other than themselves. There has to be some concern given to those who have not and not at the point that they are in front of a judge. We have people out there who want to help but the funding has been cut and/or the powers that be are not interested.  So when the forgotten cry out for help and no one is listening; what do you expect? They turn to things that are illegal, dangerous, and life threatening.
So the solution is: Funding for programs, prevention and intervention. Trained and caring professionals. Court and law enforcement collaboration.
Great things can happen if we work together!!!

Saturday, September 29, 2012

A Welcoming Church

Today I went to church, love my church. When I moved to Georgia my family became members of a great church; creating and maintaining a great Christian foundation through the hardest years of my development. Well today I returned to that church to hear a friend preach and it was like time stood still.  The whole church looks exactly the same as the day my family left.  The shelves that a friend and I put up when we were 12 are still in the same place. To give you a frame of reference I am now 36.  The church is almost empty. The capacity is 250 there is nowhere near that number in this church. When my family left there was about 125 in the church and we were a close knit church. We did everything together. We are still close and today hurt my heart.

The members of the church don’t smile. The walls were white and sterile. My heart literally sank when I sat down in one of the many empty pews. Though I am no longer a member of this specific church I still think of it as my church home. It is where I learned about myself as Christian, where I learned from the faith struggles of my friends and my own personal struggles with what was right. It saddens me that my home church is struggling. My prayers go out to this church and I will do anything in power to help in anyway. 

I would love to suggest that they add some color to the church. Add some plants and adornments, it gives life to the church. It’s welcoming. At present the church feels like hospital; very sterile and unwelcoming. Church is a safe haven. If you don’t feel like you are welcomed or able to praise God without fear, you stop going.

I need my church family connections, they sustain me. They know the real me and still love me and because of that relationship I have made it through a lot of issues in life.  Thank you to my Church family. I love you all!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Number for today is "6"

Remember when we were younger and for some of us, yesterday, when we watched Sesame Street and they told us what the number for the day was. Don’t act like you don’t still watch Sesame Street, and yes I do! Well the number for today is “6”.

For the last two weeks I have been fighting my weakness for breads; so far so good. And because of that I am officially down 6 pounds. I have started walking again and though my legs feel like jelly, it feels good to know I have accomplished a few short term goals.

My new goal is to actually eat 6 meals a day… especially breakfast (which I really don’t eat). I don’t eat large meals in a day but I do like to snack. So I am now snacking on baked vegetable chips and fruits. But I am working on portion size and snacks of substance. 
I am drinking A LOT of water! I am striving for at least 176 oz of water, which is 11 bottles in a day. I have been accomplishing that at least three times a week. Shoot, 11 bottles is a lot of water… and too much of anything is a bad thing.

So this is not a diet fad… this is a lifestyle change! So when they ask, “So you are dieting?”… answer…”No, I am eating healthy”.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

My Rotten Parents!

Today I read an article in the Houston Home Journal, my town paper. It was entitled ‘Boy, I am glad had rotten parents’. And when I read the title, I immediately thought to myself… Me too!! I know what you are thinking… “damn, that is harsh”...or “she must have had a really bad childhood”. If you were thinking that you would be…wrong!
I thank my parents for everything they have done and continue to do for me. But I truly thank them for exposing me to so many things and nurturing my view of the world.
My parents where just like today’s parents; they want their children to have something better than what they had, to do better than them, and to leave their mark on the world. The difference is that some parents want all that on their terms and they do what they have to do to make sure their children succeed. The problem is that in the end these children grow into adults that can do NOTHING for themselves. So in essence they are coddled children who turn into crippled adults. This is the result of having great parents who do everything for you. Clean your room, wash your clothes, make your meals, pay all your bills, and clean up all your mistakes, Something I would know nothing about, thank God, oh yeah, and my rotten parents.
My rotten parents taught me the value of a dollar and doing my best. I started working, literally getting a pay check, at age 13. I sold hotdogs at the Air Force Recreation Department. I have been working ever since. Every summer since my 13th birthday I have had some kind of job. So when I hear kids say that they deserve something because they got good grades, or did what their parents told them to, I laugh. Where is it written that you deserve a reward for doing your God-given best. Don’t get my wrong, I was given a lot of things and some even said I was spoiled. But I would call then a liar. My parents required the best out of their children (there are two of us) and we strived to make them proud. Because of that, they believed that we deserved some things. And for that I am eternally grateful…
Now we were not perfect kids either….
Did we bump heads, yes.
Was I ever grounded, yes.
Did I ever slam a door, yes.
So I would claim the title of typical kid.
Did I ever curse my parents, no.
Did I ever try to strike my parents, no.
Did I ever steal from my parents, no.
Did I ever do something that would place my family in danger, no.
If you answer yes to any of these questions, you wouldn’t have lasted long in my home.
My parents were not my friends they were my parents and because of that I grew up respecting and loving them for the role they played in my life.
The author, Ronda Rich, said is best, “because I had such rotten parents, I learned the value of hard work, the importance of a dollar, the comfort of prayer in times of need”. I will add to that by saying my rotten parents taught me that people deserve respect, that you give 100% to everything you do, the world is not fair and that God is in control of everything.
I thank my rotten parents for introducing me to books, to music, to writing, to art, to knowledge. I thank my rotten parents for teaching me my history so that I know where I come from. I thank my rotten parents for introducing me to God and allowing me to cultivate my own relationship with Him. I thank my rotten parents for always being present and allowing me to be me without prejudice. I thank my rotten parents for given and showing me what love feels like and looks like. I thank my rotten parents for being the world best rotten parents.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

What I'm Reading: Fall from Grace by Ryan Phillip

About a year ago I was given a book by a friend, I have never really liked Christian Fiction because it tends to leave out God until there is a crisis and doesn’t show God in all of the writing; so I have stayed away.However,  I love supporting African-American writers and especially female writers, Ryan Phillips met both those criteria.

Saving Grace by Ryan Phillips

Book Description: As the only daughter of a successful businesswoman, Grace grew up with nothing but the best. Sheltered by her single mother and educated in an exclusive private school in Detroit, Grace was not ready for the harsh realities of an unforgiving world.
Grace's naivete coupled with her desire to experience life on her own terms leads her down a path of emotional devastation and physical abuse. Through a chance encounter Grace meets Mike, a successful design artist who introduces her to a relationship very different from her usual one-night-stands and affairs with married men.
Things take a turn for the worst however when Grace's roommate walks in on her and her married personal trainer in their apartment. This betrayal tears apart Mike and Grace's romance and shatters the trust and friendship between Grace and Trina.
In the midst of torn relationships, Grace's mother dies in a tragic plane crash leaving Grace with no one left to turn to except the God she thought had long since abandoned her.

This book was an amazing read and though I’m blessed to still have both of my parents, this book hit home. The friendship between Grace and Trina mirrors a relationship that I had growing up. The men in the book, I've encountered some of the same.  Ryan writes with an ease that shows growth and allows you to grow with the character. I was glad when I found out that she continued the story in Fall from Grace.
Book Description: 'GRACE fights the lump RISING in her throat. For a MOMENT she is LOST in thought, remembering WHAT IT HAS TAKEN to get TO THIS POINT...'

Grace Cambridge is a young Black Christian with a new husband, old friends, and a shocking moral dilemma.

A proverbial 'cat fight' opens the story and draws you into a complex relational web. The book peels through layers of dysfunction between Grace and Trina and follows their individual, sometimes intertwining, lives to reveal how they find their way back to Christ and to each other. Grace is intelligent, determined, well-spoken yet vulnerable. You want her to be happy, you want her to succeed. Grace's Christianity isn't sugar-coated. Her faith is real and so is her life---riddled with plenty of twists, turns, and conflicts.

As Grace's relationship with God is challenged she questions her identity and is faced with a life-changing decision. She deals with everyday issues, sometimes successfully, sometimes not.

Grace's experiences are not much different than yours---how she handles them might be.

Let’s see where this one takes me…if you want to read them they are available on 

Friday, September 21, 2012

Yes, I am a Woman

I have always been a little self conscious about the way I look. As I get older I become very comfortable in my skin. But it has been a process. I remember the times when I didn't really want to go places because people who look at me there. Now my response to 9 year old me is..."Who cares?" But again, it was a process.

I have been lucky in my life that I have been told I am beautiful by those I cherish and those who cherish me. That is a feeling that cannot be minimized. So note to the moms and dads out there, tell your daughters that they count, that they are beautiful, that their emotions matter. Show them what real relationship look like so that they know what love is supposed to be. I thank my parents for showing what good times look like and how to get through the bad ones.

Now as I approach 40 (well in about 5 years, okay 4 years) I can say that I am happy with me. Though I want to make some changes I know that I am no longer worried about what others see when they look at me, I am happy with me.

It took me sometime to become comfortable in my skin but I am there. I know longer feel like a little girl looking and hoping for the world acceptance. I can now answer, "Yes, I am a Woman!"

Black Women & Depression

It looks like different things to different people. In the end it’s called the same thing… Depression.
As a community, blacks view mental health issues with closed eyes. It is seen as the issue that we deal with and don’t address. When someone says counseling the answer is always, “I am not crazy”. And that is definitely a true statement however it doesn’t mean that you do not have issues that couldn’t be addressed with counseling.
We all go through things in life that if they continue without intervention they can become too much to handle. What happens then…. We break!
“Fantasia Barrino’s recent confession of her suicide attempt sparked a realization that black women are as susceptible to depression as anyone else. When asked about her recent suicide attempt, she explains “I was overloaded with carrying six years of so much…dealing with my family, dealing with my father, dealing with men and their bullshit…” I think we can all relate in one way or another. While her “so much” and (y)our “so much”may not be identical, people feel overwhelmingly inclined to pass their issues off to black women—assuming we can handle it stoically—because we have been doing it for generations” – Crunk Feminist Collective
I will give the disclaimer now; I am not discounting the strength of my white sisters, however I have never experienced life as a white woman, just as they have never experienced life as a black woman. So though we share a gender our experiences are colored differently.

And the history of the black woman has been one of self-sacrifice. From their first days on this land they have been treated as property and sold at will. They have raised their owner’s children for generations while their children were sold off like cattle. But they stayed strong. They raised their children over generation without partners. Avoiding emotions was a survival technique which has now become a cultural habit. I use the word “they”and “their”, when I should be saying “We” and “our”.African-American or Black women, however you reference yourself, have had a different and difficult walk in this world; can we say that depression is side-effect or by-product of that journey? Whatever your answer, the one truism is that even the strongest person gets tired; and tired is not a weak emotion it’s a necessary one. We all get tired. However when that feeling is all consuming, over powering or takes over your existence, it is time for some intervention and help. You need to talk to someone.

Most don’t know what Depression looks like; so we will consult the book that the psychologists and psychiatrists use to diagnosis others; the (DSM-IV)  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders identifies Depression as"
296.32 Severe Depressive Mood Disorder (Moderate)
Research has shown that depression is influenced by both biological and environmental factors. Studies show that first degree relatives of people with depression have a higher incidence of the illness, whether they are raised with this relative or not, supporting the influence of biological factors. Situational factors, if nothing else, can exacerbate a depressive disorder in significant ways. Examples of these factors would include lack of a support system, stress, illness in self or loved one, legal difficulties, financial struggles, and job problems. These factors can be cyclical in that they can worsen the symptoms and act as symptoms themselves.

Symptoms of depression include the following:

· depressed mood (such as feelings of sadness or emptiness)

· reduced interest in activities that used to be enjoyed, sleep disturbances (either not being able to sleep well or sleeping to much)

· loss of energy or a significant reduction in energy level

· difficulty concentrating, holding a conversation, paying attention, or making decisions that used to be made fairly easily

· suicidal thoughts or intentions.


Treatment can either combine both pharmacotherapy and psychotherapy or utilize one or the other individually. Medications used to treat this disorder include Prozac, Paxil, Wellbutrin, and Zoloft. Other medications can be found, along with their descriptions can be found in the Medications page. Psychotherapy is useful in helping the patient understand the factors involved in either creating or exacerbating the depressive symptomotology. Personal factors may include a history of abuse (physical, emotional, and/or sexual), maladaptive coping skills/ Environmental factors involved in this disorder include, among others, a poor social support system and difficulties related to finances or employment.

Major Depressive Disorder has a better prognosis than other mood disorders in that medication and therapy have been very successful in alleviating symptomotology. However, many people with this disorder find that it can be episodic, in that periodic stressors can bring back symptoms. In this case, it is often helpful to have an ongoing relationship with a mental health professional just as you would a physician if you had diabetes or high blood pressure.

Special treatment considerations for African American women:

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI); only 12 percent of African American women seek help and/or treatment. Building and maintaining a strong support network can aid in the recovery and future prevention from clinical depression. Learn from role models to help you distinguish between what you can and cannot control. Many African American women minimize the seriousness of the problem and do not proactively seek treatment. The strength of faith and church supports can supplement depression treatment and reduce isolation. Seek other forms of support to better your mental health. Putting yourself first on the list is essential.

I have family members who deal with this daily. It is not easy to see people you love going through something that you cannot help them with. I make sure that I am there to support them and whenever they need me. I also PRAY WITHOUT CEASING! I know that prayer changes things.

Note to my sistas: Many African American women do not seek treatment because it is viewed as a personal weakness, not a health problem. We all need help in some form, at some point in our lives. It’s not a weakness to say you need help; it takes strength to let someone else help you.

Monday, September 17, 2012

The Return Of Bones

I have been a Bones fan since day one. I love Forensics and the writers of this show are amazing. They have finally seen fit to put Brennan and Booth together and then they had to bring the drama.

If you are watching like I am you know that last season ended with Brennan leaving home because she was being framed for murder by Palant (yup, he is a serial killer). With the help of her father, Bennan gets out of town and begins a life on the run. All the time knowing that her friends and Booth were working to find a way for her to be cleared.

Makes you think that in a situation that is dire, who will be in corner. As I get old I realize that I KNOW alot of people but I have very FEW REAL friends. In the situation I am not sure if I have friends who would stand beside me and have my back. What I have learned if that those who call me friend do so because I can do something for them and not because of who I am. And those people are no longer my friends...they are people I know.

So when it comes to those I can trust with my life....the list is small and I can count them on one hand. Because in the end there are few people in this world that you can trust.

I love this show and the cast is amazing!!

Season 8...let go Brennan and Booth!! BONES!!


Well another Sunday has come and gone. Usually I would be up watching T.V. and worrying about something or other. But I have set a new goal for myself. BABY STEPS!

I actually got up and worked out to Turbo Jam.  I love those tapes. I don't care how much I do them I know I will get a good workout. If you have never done Turbao Jam you might want to try them they are amazing. I have bad knees so there are some things I cannot do (like jumping or alot of up and down). I have a goal of doing Turbo Jam at least two times a week.

The other goal is to see if I can complete any phase of the Instanity Workout tapes. My friends do it and it looks like a great workout but once again there are things I cannot do, so I will take it one thing at a time. I have a goal of doing Instanity at least two times a week.

The other days out of the week I will be walking and attempting me new goal.....a WALK/RUN do that I can get to the point where I can run a non-stop 1/2 mile by December. Again BABY STEPS! Looking forwards to when I can run a mile without a thought. Just music in my ears and feet to the pavement. I have a need to be happy and are looking foward to getting lossing three more pant sizes. That is my goal by Valentine's Day!

I am looking foward to taking part in the BLACK GIRLS RUN 5K next year. Another goal!

So let the games begin... and hey if you want to join in, jump on in......

Saturday, September 15, 2012

That Punk Procrastination: My Weight Loss Enemy

In 2010, I decided that I wanted to loose some weight. Well that's lie. My doctor told me that it was in my best interest to lose some weight. Of course I was agast, well not really. I wanted to be healthy so I was game.

I started a program and began to lose the weight. I felt really good. I started working out and walking and dropped three clothes sizes which made me feel even better. And then it happened...I STALLED!

I would work out sporadically and of course I gained a few poounds back. Every month since then I have been telling myself that I was going to start doing this and that. But I haven't. Procrastination has become my friend. Along with this procrastination came the retiurn of my two weaknesses, bread and Wavy Lays potatoe chips. Those evil people at Lays have it out for me. (Lol)

I am going to lie and say I weighed 200 pds and tell the truth and say that I lost 35 pounds. I have officially gained back 10 of those. But I have found some motivation..

Yesterday I read the Essence article on Jill Scott. Ms Scott recently shed  60 pounds. She has always been someone I admire (and I don't admire many) her beauty, her style, her music, her grace, just the person she is in general. The forumla for her weight loss is one that I think I can follow. "Eating more vegetables, avoiding bread and pasta (going to struggle with this but I can do it) and evercising" She is also following the principles of  Dr. Peter D'Adamo's  blood type diet and is staying away from foods that have been deemed incompatible with her blood type. I have already downloaded Blood Type Diet from Amazon for my Kindle. I am going to make this work for me. She is my MOTIVATION!!!!

Along with this formula I am going to start with Weight Watchers again. I believe that being accountable to something or someone else also me to be a little more motivated. I have been paying for a gym membership for a year and I have never used it. Well that too is going to change. I start at Edge Fitness on Monday morning and I will be getting back to my workout routine.

I have to get to the point where I am healthy again. I am not losing weight because I feel fat or anything. I am an attractive young woman with a lot to offer anyone who enters my life. But I think that losing weight will take some pressure off my knees (born with bad knees), increase my metablism, and hopeful cut down on my migraines.  Soooo.....

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!