Today I received paperwork from an Adoption agency.
Yes, I inquired about the possibility of me being an adoptive parent. I would love to be a mother, in the true sense of the word.
I have been blessed to have stepped into the role for those whose children were placed in foster care. I remain connected to my kids but it’s not the same as nurturing a child that you call your own. Someone I can love, someone that loves me back, someone whose personality I have a hand in molding, someone God has seen fit to allow me to share space and time with.
Right now you are asking why I have not had kids of my own, or maybe you are assuming that I cannot have children. Well first off you all need to stop assuming...you make and ass of out of you...not me. But if you must know, yes I am able to have children. I have had all the tests and the doctors said it would be harder but I can still bare children. So why do I not have children, I guess the best answer is that God has not seen fit to allow me to get pregnant. I could say it wasn’t me and it was my ex’s issue but there is no reason to speculate. or speak about old relationships and his lack or...oh I'm sorry I got lost in that thought. So I am going to say, maybe God just didn’t think it would be right to bring a child into a relationship that He knew wasn’t going to work. But I digress.
I never saw my life without children. My parents would love to grandparents, my sister would love to be an aunt, my grandmother would love to see a great-grandchild and I would love to continue my family name. But it hasn’t happened yet. Now in my mid 30’s, I am looking for that fulfillment and that connection with a child. I want to share the Love that God has placed in me. Because of my profession I am aware that there are a lot of children out there that are in need of a great family. Though it is just me I can truly love a child for two people.
So I have a telephone interview with the agency in January. Got some things to work on between now and then and then I will be on track to make something happen. Make something great happen in my life and in the life of the child that God is looking to bless me with.
I have been praying that the Lord blesses me with a child and also with a great guy to round out my family. I have all the faith in the world that God will show up and show out. He said, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened” Matthew 7:7.
Just like anyone else who wants a child, I am terrified to be a parent; especially in this day and time. But I am giving it to God because He has the power to make things happen in my life. So I am giving it all to GOD!
I’ll keep you posted and I ask you to keep me in your prayers.