For the last three years my Facebook friends and I have taken the month of November and focused on how thankful we are for things in our lives. This year was no different. And yesterday I was re-reading what I was thankful for and it was interesting to me that I have said the same things every year. Which means that God continues to sustain, bless, fortify and allow His grace to cover me.
Trials and strife are necessary for us to look up and call His name. He has to remind us that without Him. nothing is possible. We are a comfortable people. When things are good we choose to take the credit for all that is right with our world and we forget that He brought us though so that we could tell the next person of His power, grace and mercy. But most of us, myself included, come through and say a quiet “God brought me through” when we should be screaming it. You know screaming like you are at a sporting event or a concert…you know how you get all excited about getting a gift and scream when you are surprised… that is the raw emotion that God deserves.
The word (that is the Bible for those who don’t know) says, “ When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures” James 4:3 (NIV). God asks you to come to Him with an open mind, a willing spirit, and a malleable heart; the rest He will handle.
When you are going through… Call on Him!
When you are getting everything you want… Call on Him!
As this year comes to a close I think I am most thankful for the ability to call on Him! Because without Him I would not have had 30 days of thankfulness!
When
you get to have a conversation with people who understand you it is nice that
you do not have to explain yourself over and over again. When you find like-minded
people it is so refreshing.
For those of
you who do not know I am a social worker by trade and by blessing. I was
blessed to stumble into the profession and find my purpose in my work.
Basically I found my niche. I love helping people, especially children. But to
do this it truly takes a village.
So when I first
started in the field I made it my business to forge as many meaningful
relationships and connections as I could. And that practice has served me well.
(Thanks Daddy for that lesson early in life). I can honestly pick up the phone
and contact someone to help those in need. It is a good feeling to help.
Today I had a
conversation with a clinician friend and another friend from the Department of
Juvenile Justice about the state of our youth. I now work as a liaison with the
court system and have been promoted to Program Administrator. In the New Year I
am looking to start programs and make sure that the children and their families
in this county have what they need to succeed. That is if they want it.
We brainstormed
on how we could positively affect outcomes for families and children if we got
into the homes to help not dictate. Most families in crisis do not want to be
told what they are doing wrong. However they are open to changing the things
that do not work. See how I did that? I just said the same things, two
different ways and one of them was not condescending or hurtful. It’s all about
how you approach and interact with these families. You have to meet them where
they are not where you want them to be.
So today a
simple conversation with likeminded people gave birth to numerous ideas about
how things can be done to make sure that those who want the help can access the
help.
So here we go….
I will keep you posted on how this all places out…
Today I received paperwork from an Adoption agency.
Yes, I inquired about the possibility of me being
an adoptive parent. I would love to be a mother, in the true sense of the word.
I have been blessed to have stepped into the role
for those whose children were placed in foster care. I remain connected to my
kids but it’s not the same as nurturing a child that you call your own. Someone
I can love, someone that loves me back, someone whose personality I have a hand
in molding, someone God has seen fit to allow me to share space and time with.
Right now you are asking why I have not had kids of
my own, or maybe you are assuming that I cannot have children. Well first off
you all need to stop assuming...you make and ass of out of you...not me. But if
you must know, yes I am able to have children. I have had all the tests and the
doctors said it would be harder but I can still bare children. So why do I not
have children, I guess the best answer is that God has not seen fit to allow me
to get pregnant. I could say it wasn’t me and it was my ex’s issue but there is
no reason to speculate. or speak about old relationships and his lack or...oh
I'm sorry I got lost in that thought. So I am going to say, maybe God just
didn’t think it would be right to bring a child into a relationship that He
knew wasn’t going to work. But I digress.
I never saw my life without children. My parents
would love to grandparents, my sister would love to be an aunt, my grandmother
would love to see a great-grandchild and I would love to continue my family
name. But it hasn’t happened yet.Now in
my mid 30’s, I am looking for that fulfillment and that connection with a
child. I want to share the Love that God has placed in me. Because of my
profession I am aware that there are a lot of children out there that are in
need of a great family. Though it is just me I can truly love a child for two
people.
So I have a telephone interview with the agency in
January. Got some things to work on between now and then and then I will be on
track to make something happen. Make something great happen in my life and in
the life of the child that God is looking to bless me with.
I have been praying that the Lord blesses me with a
child and also with a great guy to round out my family.I have all the faith in the world that God
will show up and show out. He said, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and
ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:For every one that asketh receiveth; and he
that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened” Matthew 7:7.
Just like anyone else who wants a child, I am
terrified to be a parent; especially in this day and time. But I am giving it
to God because He has the power to make things happen in my life. So I am
giving it all to GOD!
I’ll keep you posted and I ask you to keep me in
your prayers.
I have been doing pretty good with all the changes in my life.
Not all the news has been good news but I will cover that in another blog post. Today is about focusing on the good things that have happened in my life in the last three months,
So I hold on to the fact that I have lost 11 pounds and continue to workout to get to my goal of 25 by Christmas.
I have started school and as of right now am holding on to my 4.0 grade point average... Yes, I have only completed one class but I am still holding on to that as a positive (Small Wins!!).
Was ecstatic that I got to hangout with my Bridgeforth family in Memphis and St. Louis. Got the opportunity to see my Aunt and cousins who I haven't seen in almost 20 years. I LOVE MY FAMILY!! And we should never let time go that long without seeing each other. Thankful for Facebook, that it has allowed us to connect on a daily basis and remain connected now. In 2009, I started a Facebook page called the The Bridgeforth Family. This has allowed me to find aunts and uncles that I didn't know about. Apparently my grandfather and great uncles were rolling stones and have kids in other area codes. But hey that just makes my family larger. We are at 274 members right now and growing.
I have two more things to accomplish this year... start rebuilding my credit and plan a great getaway.
So again, I think I am doing pretty good... with the help, the Grace, and the blessing of an awesome God...I am still standing and here to make the next day count. Have a struggled...shoot I am struggling right now... but all is well with the world because I know that God's got my back and my struggle is temporary and His Grace is sufficient.
There has been very slow progress in my weight lose journey. And that is completely my fault. No excuses here. I just have to do better. So I got up and meditated on the fact that without the right thought process I will continue to be stagnated and not accomplish anything.
So I went out and paid money for a dress that is two sizes too small and somewhat form fitting so it will tell on me if I don't complete my goal. What goal you ask?
GOAL:Well the goal is to lose 25 pounds by Christmas. That is exactly 5 months away. I have lost and maintained a 25 pound weight loss before and I am now attempting the next 25.
ULTIMATE GOAL: The ultimate goal is 75 pounds; which will put me at my ideal weight. Please don't get it wrong. I am happy in my skin. But I just want a little less skin.
THE PLAN: So what is the plan? The plan is to get back on my workouts and my eating habits. August 1st I begin a Workout and Eating Clean Challenge along with a group of friends (Hey #TeamFIT)...gotta have that accountability partner. I am actively using the My Fitness Pal application on my phone to count my calorie intake.My calorie intake for a day is 1300...so I have to watch what I eat. I have challenged myself to working out five days... and will work to actually go everyday. I will continue to take part in the Black Girls Run! Challenges and try my darnedest to make it to some of their weekly runs. I will take a least two aerobics classes at the gym per month. (SN: I don't like people watching me when I am working out... so this is a big step). The big hurdle is going to be the food. I am an convenience eater. I eat whats handy and whats quick. With this challenge I will have to prepare for meals and not do what is convenient but do what is healthy.
So I am starting this week trying to get my head right for next week. On Sunday, July 21, I completed the Running Nerds Virtual Marathon & 5K Treadmill Challenge. And actually PR'd (that mean "Personal Record" for you non-runners) at 49 min &.45 sec on the Treadmill.
Now if I can only get that to translate to pavement.
Its completely different animal... one that I have not tamed yet.
So with this new found motivation I am all gong-ho to tackle my weight and also focus on finding things that add to my happiness. So I will continue to work on Preserving My Sexy!!
The conversation, the argument, the debate, the opposition
continues..... in regards to the country's
disbelief and for some the justified acquittal of George Zimmerman.
As we approach the 50th Anniversary of the March on Washington (August 28,
1963)... "King's speech remains
one of the most famous speeches in American history. He started with prepared
remarks, saying he was there to "cash a check" for "Life, Liberty and the pursuit
of Happiness," while warning fellow protesters not to "allow our
creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must
rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force."
But then he departed from his script, shifting into the "I have a
dream" theme he'd used on prior
occasions, drawing on both "the American dream" and religious themes,
speaking of an America
where his children "will not be judged by the color of their skin but by
the content of their character." He followed this with an exhortation to
"let freedom ring" across the nation, and concluded with:
And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when
we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every
city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and
Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the
words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last, free at last. Thank God
Almighty, we are free at last."
And the marching continues for the things that Rev. King
dreamed of on that hopeful day in 1963.
Omar Hardwick, actor and spoken word artist penned this poem in response to tragic death of Trayvon Martin.
"Little Black Boys Wonder" by Omar Hardwick
And though they are not mentioned by name it also touches on the lives, experiences, and deaths of Darius Simmons (13); Jordan Davis (17) and Oscar Grant (22) ...all black young men.
Jordan Davis
Darius Simmons
"Fruitvale Station: Oscar Grant" Dir. Ryan Coogler
The Real Oscar Grant
All of those who pulled the trigger and ended the lives of these young men all claim to have been in fear of their lives. Well if that is the rationale, than I, as a black woman, can believe that all young white men with clean shaved heads mean me harm. No that doesn't make sense and neither does the justification given for the deaths of these young men.
The African American or black community is very aware of the ills of our community. We are conscious of the epidemic of blacks killing other blacks. We are aware of the number of unwed pregnancies and homes headed by women. We are aware that we have more black men in jail than we do in college. We are aware that we are disproportionately represented in the welfare discussion. We understand that gang violence is a part of our community. We understand that we still practice the crab in a barrel mentality. And we know that we can be our own worst enemy.
And we also know that we understand struggle because we have been struggling for over 400 years. First for freedom. Then for our humanity; to be consider human, not as cattle or property. Then for the right for literacy and knowledge, aka Brown vs. Board of Education (1954). Then for the right to be take part in a country that boasts about its dream and the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The fights continued to vote in such a country aka (15th Amendment) The Voters Right Act of 1965. And the struggle continues because Affirmative Action was enacted in 1961 and is still necessary today in 2013.
We are aware of our contributions and the double standards that will forever be present. We also know that we created and invented half of things that make this world go around. We know that a black man perfected the technique used to end the rising death toll of babies knows as blue babies. We know that single mothers have raised amazing people, both men and women. We understand that until the late 1800's it was illegal for blacks to read and now they are CEOs and CFOs of Fortune 500 companies. We know that a society scared of a the power of the black man's spirit has sought to hold him down and now a black man sits in the White House. We know that if the numbers were actually pulled that there are more whites on welfare than blacks. We understand that white gangs have been around forever however they are considered political or civic organizations such as the KKK, the Aryan Nation, and the Tea Party; so we understand the double standard. However we still remain proud. Proud of what you may ask....
I am proud of my great grandfather who was born into slavery but died a landowner. I am proud that my history is one of overcoming and not one of settling and being complacent. I am proud that my family builds on what those who came before us sacrificed for and continue to pass that down. I am proud of the W.E.B Dubois' of the world, the Martin Luther Kings, the Malcolm X's, the Medgar Evers, the Harriett Tubmans, the Sojourner Truth. We stand on their shoulders... and live, by the grace of God, to continue the fight and make our positive mark on this society.
We are all not the stereotype that you have in your head... stop judging us...especially if you do not know us.
On 4.15.13 the craziness that is hatred was seen again, here on United States soil; this time at the Finish Line of the Annual Boston Marathon. An event that is coveted as one of the big races for runners was in full swing when out of nowhere a blast punctuated the race and the lives of three people and left others limbless and shattered in other ways.
This egregious action effected the world and connected those in the running community. Some of us walk, some jog, some run, and some sprint but we all move... and in solidarity for those who didn't get to finish the running community in Georgia (Atlanta and surrounding counties) came together to make it known that, not only were those in Boston touch by this event.. WE ALL WERE!!! The event was spearheaded by Big Peach Running Co.and including the ladies of the Atlanta Chapters of Black Girls Run.
I challenge, ask, and hope you will go out and run/walk/jog 26.2 or 2.62 miles, participate for 26.2 minutes of activity.
Send up a prayer before and after your activity for those who lost their lives and those who were wounded.
Remember that even in the midst of all this turmoil and angst, God is still in charge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
